TMU announces TwoCard, enhanced student card with “special benefits”

Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) has released a new tier of OneCard known as TwoCard that promises an enhanced student experience.

The TwoCard will come with a monthly $50 fee (before taxes). TwoCard holders will be granted various benefits such as:

• Luxury recliner seats in lectures with extra leg room, cup holders and a complimentary TMU Grit Cookie

• Access to TwoCard equipped study spaces (including the new TMU Gold Lounge™ in the Podium Building)

• A warm towelette

• Personalized private bathrooms

• A complimentary FastPass to the SLC Starbucks

• Periodic email affirmations from President Lachemi

• Access to the Hub Cafe Secret Menu

• A weekly private audience with Frankie the Falcon

Mohammad Ahmad is one of the first TMU students to receive a TwoCard. He’s been living in the Gold Lounge™ since last Friday.

“I was actually gonna transfer to Humber, but then I got the TwoCard,” he said. “Now I never wanna leave this school. The towels smell like lemons and the masseuse is sublime.”

Sandra Stirling is a TMU professor currently teaching SOC903: Social Class and Inequality who says this new program is a blatant example of elitism.

“We’ve come so far from universities being ivory towers. This is a big step in the wrong direction,” she said. 

When told that professors are offered the TwoCard at a reduced price, Stirling said, “Say what now?”