Students attend class professor skips to watch eclipse

TMU students in a first-year economics class are furious after their professor failed to show up to a very important lecture this monday.

“I assumed no one would go, y’know because of the eclipse, so I didn’t bother to email ahead,” said Professor James Aster, who’s been teaching the course for nearly half a century. 

He stated that in the weeks leading up to the eclipse, he’s been filled with giddy joy at the thought of witnessing the rare astronomical event. Excited enough that he completely forgot about a small detail buried in the syllabus years ago. 

“It’s known to be a very difficult course, and I wanted to alleviate a little bit of stress in my students,” Aster said. “Back when I wrote it, I said that any student who shows up to the last class of the semester wearing a silly hat will receive 5 per cent extra credit. I normally forget it’s there until the week of.” 

In the class of nearly 200 first-year students, he’s lucky to see a quarter of them attend class. According to multiple students, this Tuesday’s 8 a.m. lecture saw a record-high turnout. All of them bleary-eyed, decorated with the strangest assortment of hats you’ve ever seen in a Kerr Hall classroom. 

“I knew Aster was excited about the eclipse. I figured since it’s an hour-long lecture first thing in the morning he’d just drive over somewhere with better visibility as soon as it was done,” said Milena Stern, who wore a pinwheel hat. “I really wanted those bonus marks.” 

However, their professor was nearly 70 kilometers away, having staked out a spot at 3 a.m. “In all honesty, I forgot there even was a lecture,” he said. “Whoopsie daisies.”