God hired as new TMU professor

After centuries of speculation about His existence, God announced via angelic chorus that He had been hired as an instructor at Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU).

God made His first in-person appearance Tuesday, having been spotted exiting Dundas subway station.  

“It’s kinda what I always wanted to do, but it’s hard to quit a job once you’ve been at it for so long,” said God. 

God then reportedly approached the many religious preachers at Yonge-Dundas Square, thanked them for the help and told them they were “good to go home now.” 

God’s hiring has raised numerous questions. 

When asked what students are expected to address him as, God said, “Tim is fine.”

Reporters then learned that Tim has been God’s real first name all along. Asked whether he would find it difficult to adjust to the new work environment, God shook his head, saying the TMU campus is "more or less what Heaven looks like."

God is slated to begin His teaching career at TMU with the Philosophy course, ‘PHL000: Objective Truth’. The chair of the Engineering department also revealed that God is developing a course on constructing universes.

Reactions were generally muted on Gould Street. Third year student Amir Ghadush said he would have to “check His RateMyProf score” before enrolling in any of God’s courses.

For any questions, God said He can be reached via prayer or email (timgod@torontomu.ca).